“You know how nervous I am?” I finally said to him- looking down at my shoes.

He reached forward and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling me to my knees in front of him, “I know… slut.” His voice got deep and deliberate. He pushed my face against his jeans- rubbing my face against his forehead. “I know you’ve been thinking about this haven’t you slut? Do you want my cock.”

“Please,” I whispered. He had no idea how badly, or why. He had no idea that I was fighting every urge not to pull open his jeans and push his cock into my mouth. I craved to feel the familiar flesh, hard and invading pushing through my lips and calming any nervousness in me. He continued to push my face against his cock, and I adored it. Adored the tight pull of his hands in my scalp, and the feel of his hard cock through his loose jeans. I looked up and met his eyes.

“You’re a fucking whore. Aren’t you?”

My head lowered but he held my gaze a little longer. He reached down with his free hand and released his cock. He held it in front of me, close to my mouth- but away. I opened my mouth to him. Reaching, whimpering to take him. He held my hair back, “I should have come to that party. I’d make you prove to everyone what a real slut you are.”

I agreed, desperate, pleading. Finally he pulled me up to my knees, over him, and pushed me down hard on his cock. It freed me. I devoured him. His cock was so hard, and thickly veined. I moved on him, slow, and then faster. He moved my mouth on him, stroking from mid shaft to head mostly. Occasionally he’d push into my throat and I’d take it down, hold it like a good slut until I’d come up gasping and sputtering. To which he smiled at me- and push me down again. “Yes- your deep throating has improved slut. Good girl.” My pussy was soaked already- as I told him when he made me rub it through my nylons. “Oh I remember you my sweet little whore. I do remember how much you love cock.” He smirked at me, for just a moment before he slapped my cheek, “Show me how good you can be.”

Grateful, he let me suck his cock for a long time. I went slowly, letting him use my mouth at a fuck hole. Slapping me and grabbing at me. Pinching my tits until I squealed a little before he relented, just to grab the other one and pinch even tighter. Yes, it’ had been a long time since I had been here. Months ago, I surrendered and now I was returning for more. Losing myself in being submissive this way- appreciated and toyed with. I knew he would push my limits and while I was nervous- my body cried out for it. After worshiping his cock for a long time, he stood up. I slurped him into my mouth deeper- taking advantage of the positioning to slide his cock completely into the back of my mouth. Holding on to his leg, taking more. I did not want to stop, even though I knew more was in store for me.

“You love cock don’t you slut. You are a good little whore. I know you are. Don’t worry, sweet slut, you will get more cock. Now get up. I have more for you.”

I didn’t stop though. I continued to suck his cock, faster and harder- so adoring the feeling of it sliding through my mouth- afraid that if I stopped, I might lose my nerve. It was my only defiant moment- and his hard slap across my cheek sent me stumbling to the floor was a hard reminder not to have any more of them.

Don’t fuck with me, whore.

I can feel my skin crawling, and I want to just peel it back, even though I know
it i will sting and bleed
Different tears,
what I wouldn’t do for different tears right now.
Even a slut deserves rewards for her loyalty.

so I look to another,
to help me.
please hurt me
hit me
fuck me. God please fuck me.
Make it go away.
sometimes you just gotta hurt
and sometimes you just gotta cry.
And he will hold me, and hurt me, and help me.
and never tell me what to do
because he knows…

it’s like the first time,
removing the clamps.
they have been on my nipples,
pulling at them for so long,
the chain moving,
he would tug at them
and I’d sigh, and moan.
until pain is not so bad anymore.
until
it’s a comfort,
then it’s a craving.

removing them hurts so bad.
so fucking much

so much that I’d rather leave them on.
you never expect it to hurt so much.
I was not expecting it to
hurt
so
much

So I sit,
in pain
staring at the clamps.
unsure if I can remove them.

suspecting,
because I AM loyal,
because I AM his slut…

I will beg him, to tug the chain some more.

Last night was the Calendar Launch Party.  I have this beautiful shiny glossy calendar with some of my dearest friends and idols.  I promised not to get too terribly Fan Girl on some of these people, but I know that I did.

There were so many amazing and funny moments of the weekend, and if you are looking for raunchy sex stories, you just won’t find them in this particular post.  I met so many lovely people and I am not sure how to describe it all.  It’s overwhelming, the amazing women I met.  How beautiful everyone is in person, and how honored I am to be a part of this loving circle of people.

Sinclair

It’s no secret that Sinclair is my ultimate Butch Fantasy.  Of course after last night, I have another.  We arrived at the White Rabbit and were setting things up when I turned around and saw Sinclair. She was in a suit and tie and looked so handsome.  I looked over at Lilly and said, “Oh my God it’s SINCLAIR!”  Of course I know her from her blog, and she reads mine, or so I insist on believing.  I boldly introduced myself, by first name, then “Bad Bad Girl” - she seemed to know me by both and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.  She said I looked amazing.  Yes, she said Amazing.  I heard it.  I think I actually blushed.  I spent the rest of the evening doing my best to be available for her to grope me at will, and yes there was some of that- not ENOUGH of that, but some. I did my best to be facing her when we crossed paths in the crowded room, running my fingers over her lapel, or running her tie through my hands.

When we stood together for more than a few moments, she introduced me- by name first, then my blog. She introduced me at least three or four times because strangely I kept running into her and taking the time to rub up against her and let her place her hands on my hips as we were forced to stand close often. I love that she knew my name and didn’t once forget it. Look, I have a crush ok- it’s nice when the person you jerk off to actually KNOWS your real name. I tried not to stare, sort of. Sometimes there are people for whom you cannot help but stare.

I have been reading Sugarbutch since I started reading sex blogs, before I even started writing one. I am a FAN- and so tonight maybe I was kinda being a stalker, but it was welcome stalking… and me, being me, well a little is never enough.

Lust makes me brave, so mixing that with the 2nd, 3rd…drink… and I was just about ready to just get on my knees and say, “please?” What I did instead was ask her to sign my calendar, to which she gladly did, and when she introduced me to the people she was speaking to, I of course stood close and accepted her arm around me, hand at my waist. *swoon*

fucking seriously

So off I went to get Audacia Ray to sign my calendar, but she did not have the special silver pen. I went back to Sinclair and asked if I could borrow it. She looked at me sternly and said, “You can- but I WANT it back. If you don’t bring it back… I’ll,” and then she gave me this insanely sexy grin. The one that said, “I know you, you dirty slut” and said to me

Bring me back the pen, and I’ll spank you

Audacia signed my calendar and I walked back to Sinclair.  Imagine me, in my fancy shiny purple dress.  As bold as you please.  I handed it to her. She did it again, that look- fucking hell- that look that says ‘I know what you want’.

“Bend your ass over.”

Yes the party was dying down, but there was still a decent amount of people around.  I turned and bent over, well, I got about halfway down when she came up behind me, grabbed my hair and pulled me back up, gathered more hair (I had amazing big hair last night), yanked my head back and then pushed me over.  Her hand smoothed over my ass, dipped between my legs for just a second.  (um, yes ladies- you heard me).  I felt her pull her hand away, and I braced for the smack.  The first one didn’t connect as well as she wanted- oh but the second one did.  She pulled me back up, pressed against my body.  I felt her cock against my ass- I arched into her. her other hand came up under my tits.

(holy fuck)

I shuddered for a second and turned to her.  My head down, eyes up, “thank you.”

Yeah- tell me I was not the luckiest bi-curious bitch in that place.  Of course, after drink 5 or 6, when Mariella signed my calendar on her way out the door- I asked her, or actually DEMANDED that she surrender her pen.  Diva would not give me hers, probably jealous…  I told Mariella the story and that perhaps if I brought Sinclair ANOTHER pen…

That sweet thing gave me her pen- and I walked in there- the fancy slut turned trashy whore.  She was talking to a few people and I stood directly in her field of vision.  “Need this?” I put the pen in my mouth as if to suck on it.  She laughed outloud and said, “You dirty little whore!” she grabbed my hand with the pen and pulled me through the people.  I giggled and said, “I will beat down every single one of these pinups for thier pens!!”

She turned me roughly, hand again, on my my waist, cupping under my tit- the other in my hair, tighter this time.  Her cock pressing against me. I leaned my head into her neck, my ass against her cock.  Panties soaked…  She pushed me over again.  There were more people watching this time, but I closed my eyes, because I knew the moment wasn’t going to last long- and really, they were ALL just jealous.  Her hand connected on side, then the other.  Again she pressed her body against me- I think she could feel me melting under her touch.  Holy fucking hell.

Holy fucking hell.

-

Later at the afterparty she was handling a paddle-smacking it again and again against her hand- occasionally looking at me and noticing me watching her hands, biting my lip.  I really wanted her to tell me to bend over again… but she didn’t. And I didn’t think I was supposed to ASK… so you know, I waited, and made myself available- just in case.  We were alone for moments here and there.  I was tempted… so tempted to get close- to just come on to her in the exact way that she wrote about.  But I didn’t.  I suspect she knew she didn’t need a flashing neon invitation to go further had she wanted to.

um… you know Mr Sexsmith, I’m in town one more day.

really.

I’m coming back bitches!!!  Lock up your men!!

Come see me at NYC Sex Blogger Calendar Launch Party!!

Anyway, so here’s the repost and I could not have said it better myself.  I am sorry Mrs. Winter, I voted No.  I encouraged all my friends to vote No.
—————

Dear Yes on 8 supporters,

Hey there. I’m going to go out on a limb here that most of you are feeling pretty proud of yourselves right now, patting each other on the back for your near victory of 3%. It must feel good to win huh? God knows I would be proud too if I wok up to find that my vote had such an impact on thousands upon thousands of people. I must say, I’d be pretty elated over the defeat of the US’s strides for separation of church and state, the victory over the very things our fore fathers fought and died for –the things our country was founded on, Yes, I have to say, I’d be pretty enthralled with myself for the devastation of an enormous group of people, but I’m not.

I’m not because I voted no to legal discrimination; no to the idea that a religiously founded belief and opinion should have any say in the legal constitution which rules over other people who may not have the same beliefs. I voted no because I felt there was a greater need for human equality and compassion than the whims of an organized religion that practices intolerance and promotes the sub-human treatment of a group of people. I voted no because I could not bring myself to believe in the hypocrisy of a love that would deny people fundamental rights supposedly granted to everyone.

But I suppose that does matter to you, does it? I bet it never did.

Well I hope you’re happy with yourselves now. I hope you can look into the mirror and say how happy you are to emotionally devastate hundreds of thousands of people and their loved ones. I hope you can look in the mirror and say how proud you are to treat another group of people with substandard subhuman notions for reasons they cannot change. And I HOPE you can look at yourself and feel just FINE with the fact that your vote has such emotionally scarring ramifications that people (your neighbors, your coworkers, you family members and possibly friends) might kill themselves because of it. That they would rather take their own life then live in a world YOU chose for them.

I hope you can think about that and smile without flinching.

Take pride in being a bigot, because you are. Disagree? The definition of a bigot is a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion. Utterly intolerant, as in, so intolerant that you cannot stand to allow a marriage between two people who you don’t deem acceptable for your definition of marriage. Can’t argue that, can you?

And maybe you don’t understand the weight of what you’ve done because you were taught to believe that being different is NOT ok. Or maybe because you never had to fight for the same rights as your neighbor, your fellow US citizen.. your fellow human being.

But that’s no excuse.

What you have done was hurtful and inexcusable. It was a choice based on unjust fear and selfishness. Fear of what you don’t understand and cannot relate to. Selfishness of worrying over what this means for you, what this might do to YOU or your soul instead of what this means for your fellow man and woman.

And don’t pretend this was for the children because 300 pediatricians told you otherwise. Because of your vote, children who are already being raised by gay parents now have their chance for an economically stable environment ruined. Children who had the chance to be adopted by gay married parents, who OBIVOUSLY wanted them more than their heterosexual birth parents, will now suffer as well.

And as for YOUR children…gay marriage was never going to be taught in schools and you knew it. The California super attendant for schools and the Teachers Associations told you so. This was never about church rights, everyone told you otherwise. In fact, just about every large newspaper, major company head, California leader and our current US President told you it was WRONG and you voted for it anyway.

This was never about anyone but you and your fear.

Fear so strong that you would be willing to deny people the right to be above subhuman just to keep yourself “safe”. I have never seen a bigger hypocritical unprecedented discriminatory injustice short of the Rwanda genocide and the Hate crime killings in my time.

And don’t try and console me with domestic partnership because it is NOT the same a marriage. You only have 30 rights in a domestic partnership vs the 177 in marriage. Would YOU want to give up your other 147 rights because another religion said they didn’t agree with your marriage? Would YOU want a domestic partnership instead of a marriage if you knew that the domestic partnership could be dissolved if you ever decided to live under a different roof as your partner for whatever reason (work related or not)?

Would you want to have to wait 7 years in some cases before you’re even granted these simple 30 rights?

I’m going to take a stab at this and say you wouldn’t. So if you wouldn’t revoke your marriage for a domestic partnership (or take a domestic partnership instead of a marriage) then why would you demand that of anyone else? You should never ask someone to do something you, yourself, are no willing to do.

That’s equality. Justice, liberty and freedom for ALL.

How dare you spit in the face of that because of something you feel is a sin.

You want to know what REAL sin is? REAL sin is taking away someone’s free agency – their right to choose.

If you take away someone’s right to choose to keep or not keep their processions (theft) that’s a sin. If you take away someone’s choice to fornicate with you or not (rape) that’s a sin. If you take away someone’s right to choose life or death (murder) that’s a sin.

And if you take away someone’s right to marry for no other good reason than you’re afraid, that’s a sin.

If the churches don’t want to sanctify the marriages, that’s their religious freedom. If GOD doesn’t want to sanctify the marriages, then he/she won’t. But it’s NOT your RIGHT to take away MY rights as a human being because you don’t agree with my life style which ISN’T hurting anyone else.

I have every right to marry who I love within reasonable standards. I have every right be as legally and financially safe as anyone else. I have the right to every one of those marriage privileges as anyone else and it’s being taken away from me. Not because I committed a crime. Not because I gave up my own free agency.

But because of my sexuality, because of something so fundamentally apart of myself that I cannot change it no matter what you say or do. No amount of therapy will change that.

This is human cruelty. This is what the bible was really preaching against.

And I love my spouse just as much as the next man does, or should, and I’m proud to call her my wife. I want to tell everyone I’m happily married and I fought hard to be with her. I want the right to say I’m married, to go to the hospital and check the married section instead of having to check the single. To check married on my taxes instead of having to file single. To not HAVE to explain to my employer or anyone else how I can be married but still have to legally claim single.

I want my future children to be safe if something should happen to either of us. I wan my possessions, my property, my belongings to be passed on to my spouse, my wife. Yes, I even want my insurance to carry.

And when the time comes for it, I want to be laid down next to the one I loved when I am buried.

How could that possibly hurt you?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Winter

——

It really is one of the prettiest realistic dildo’s I’ve seen.

It’s called the Iron Maiden, I have no idea why. I looked Iron Maiden to see if perhaps there was some connection I could understand- but in the end, I think perhaps it’s just cause I want to fuck it like a 80’s heavy metal groupie.  Go figure!

8 inches and almost two inches wide.  It has a really nice suction cup at the bottom.  I love the suction cup feature and the fact that the head is not so wide that I have to super lube up, just to get past it.  Sometimes I don’t want to have to do so much work.

The other night, after the kids were safely tucked away a few miles away at Grandma’s house and the Ex was asleep- I filled the tub and lit some candles.  Yes, candles.  It was a long day.  I dropped into the water that was a little too warm and let it engulf my body.  Melting away my stress and letting me drift off into my dirty fantasies.

I so rarely get time alone at home, usually my jerk off time is fast and rushed, and often with my family down the hall.  It was quite a treat for me to have this quiet.  I used it with a waterproof vibe.  I tried different positions with it, the dildo on the floor of the tub, on the side of the tub.  In the end I just put it on the shelf and straddled it, one foot in the tub, the other outside of the tub.  Sort of ruined the whole “in the tub” thing for me, but you know, sometimes we just have physical limitations.  Not everything is as seamless as it looks in porn.  I can hear half the women reading this saying, “No KIDDING!”

I have said, I’ve become much more of a thruster over the years. I like having something inside me, more so than just something vibrating my clit.  Both, well that’s just perfect!!  I found myself leaning forward against the wall, and moving down on the cock.  This dildo is more flexible than it looks in this picture.  The texture of it was lovely.  Not distracting me with weird bumps or artificial veins. I could fuck it, slowly, or faster- the suction held on.  The vibe on my clit pushed me to my orgasm- I gripped on to the width of it, moving with it- moving with me.

As I sat back in the water, I found myself stroking it, wishing it was real.

Get it here.

I miss those days, the moments we had- the love we made.  I miss them more than I will ever tell you, because there’s nothing either of us can do to bring those days back.  So I dream, and sometimes we find each other there.

I dreamed of you.
I dreamed you were wandering in the dark,
and so was I.

We found each other.
We found each other in the dark.

Click on the picture to go to Fleshbot’s Top Ten Halloween Sex Videos.

Something to do while you’re munching on the kids candy this morning!!

Hot nurses.  Click HERE.

School girl.  Click HERE.

Vampire???  Click HERE.

Happy Halloween.

“Now.  Meet me there.”

He gave me directions and I hung up.  I was not far, and I assumed he wasn’t either as we didn’t give specifics as to when we would be there.  I know he’s been waiting for my call, and I’ve resisted.

Partially because it’s close to home.  Fucking a neighbor is never a good idea really.  Especially when we know the others family.  Our kids play together, things like that.  However, I see him around, without his kids, without his ‘boyz’- without the guy posse that hangs around doing I-don’t-even-want-to-know-what they do.  It’s better sometimes not to ask questions.

I pulled into the motel parking lot and parked next to his car.  He must have been really close because he was coming out of the office with a key.  I stood and waited and then followed him as he passed me.  We didn’t speak.

We walked towards the back of the complex to room 12 and he unlocked the door, with a key.  I went in behind him, and dropped my purse on the floor and kicked off my shoes.  He turned and reached for my hand.  I took it and let him pull me in close.  I pulled off his shirt, exposing the tight rippling pecks, hairless black skin that was so dark it almost glowed.  He smelled of cologne and the ever faint scent of pot that always accompanies him.  His hand were soft, reaching under my shirt and pulling it up over my head.  I removed my bra and threw it to the floor and sat down on the bed.

He moved in front of me and pushed me backwards on the bed, removing his pants and boxers.  Good God he is just huge.  Seriously has to be like 10 or 11 inches and thick on top of it.  I’m sure what they say about black men is not always true, but is sure the fuck is with him.  He climbed over me and pushed his cock between my tits.  I tried not to visibly roll my eyes, but damn I hate that.  I went with it, because I craved cock- and lately he has been looking so good- and fucking me senseless with every glance he gives my way.  He said my name over and over again, pushing my tits together and fucking the tight space between.  The size of his cock give him the ability to really thrust in and out and I felt his cock growing harder and thicker between my tits.  I let him keep going, using me as thrust doll for as long as he wanted.  We didn’t speak, and he was looking more at his cock disappearing between my breasts that he was looking at my face.

Finally he moved up and over me, his cock hanging into my face.  I licked and sucked him into my mouth and let him hold himself up while I sucked on the head for a moment.  I was not about to let him thrust into my mouth, not with that thing.  I know it SEEMS like my throat has no back, but I assure you, it does.  He rolled on to his back and I kneeled next to him, taking the beast by both hands.  That’s when you KNOW it’s big, when you’ve got both hands wrapped around his cock and can still take down a mouth full.  Holy fuck.  It seemed even bigger this time with him fully exposed and laying down.  Being in the sitting position tends to lose some length by positioning.  Yeah, there was nothing lost here.

His cock was so big.  So fucking thick.  Huge cocks like this make me want to smile and giggle like it’s Christmas morning.  I used one hand to stroke up and down the base and pushed as much of him down my throat as I could.  I went slowly, knowing that I could probably dislodge my tonsils if I was not careful.  His cock slid, the skin as smooth as the rest of him, past my tongue and down into the back of my mouth.  There was no way I could get all the way down to the base, but I went as far as I could, and then a little farther.  My pussy getting more and more wet each time I choked him down.  I did it faster and slower, deep and shallow.  It felt so good in my throat, I could feel the stress of the day melting away and being replaced by a different tension.  I continued to suck his cock, letting the fingers of my free hand slide between my legs.  I felt the slick hot wetness and continued to tease my pussy until I felt wet enough.  I was going to need it.

I kept moving on his cock, taking him deeper.  Hearing him breathing and quietly moaning, saying my name in that sweet tone in which he always says my name.  “Wanna fuck babygirl?”

Here’s the moment.  I let him put on a condom as I undressed, ignoring just how far down it went and climbed on top of him.  I laid over him, and slid him between my pussy lips.  Sliding down.  He was so big, he slid inside me, opening me up and slowly pushing his cock deeper, deeper and deeper still inside me.  I stopped when it was fully inside me, and then went a little deeper.  I groaned out loud.  It was so big, so thick. I closed my eyes to just concentrate on the sensation.  I was so anxious and turned on, I just wanted him deeper until it hurt me, but I managed to go slow.  He watched me working it out, “ohh that’s right babygirl.  You want this.  Your pussy is so damn tight girl.”

I didn’t respond, didn’t even open my eyes.  I was leaning forward, resting on my hands and moving down on his cock.  I felt so full, so violated.  He was being very patient, not thrusting too hard.  He reached between us and rubbed on my clit with his soft hands.  I almost came out of my skin. I clenched tight around him.  My arousal was building, I was so hot- but still focused on taking him in deeper.  All the way in.  It take him, but I was determined.  Slower, deeper.  Feeling him sliding almost all the way out, and then back in.  It was unreal- his cock snaking in and out of my pussy, driving me wild.  My hips were shaking.  I probably could have cum had I concentrated a little more.  But no, I fucked him, slower and deeper until finally…

Finally I felt his bent legs.  The tops of his thigh against my ass.  His pelvis against mind.  Holy fuck.  Finally sunk deep inside me, he groaned out loud, “Now that’s a good girl.  I knew you were.”  I pushed back against him, feel him bottom out inside me.  Feeling victorious, and slutty that I had managed to take his huge cock all the way inside me.  My body was so sensitive, by pussy was aching and stretched tight around his cock.  I fucked harder, finally hearing the moans that I had been calling out all along.  Finally surrendering to this divine cock that filled challenged and rewarded me.

He grabbed my hips and thrust upwards to my downwards grinding, this was the most movement he had made since he climbed off my tits.  I leaned back a bit, still not sitting fully on his cock but allowing myself to feel him even deeper still- I cried out loud.  It was so good, my skin tingled and I felt each nerve in my pussy against his cock, exploding as I rocked back and forth, no longer concerned about hurting myself, as I was lost in the sensation- trapped by my own desire.

Sated and tired, I climbed off of him.  Rolling to one side and off the bed.  I grabbed my clothes dressed while he laid there on his side, his big black cock still looking hard, although I don’t think it was.  I smiled at him, and pulled my shirt over my head.

“Wait like 10 minutes ok so we don’t pull in at the same time ok, love?”

He smiled and lit up a smoke and handed it to me, “Sure baby.” he smiled and winked at me.  I took a drag and gave it back to him.  Leaned over the bed and kissed him on the cheek.

I grabbed my pursed and headed out the door not looking back, but laughing, as he called to me, “See you at home!”