falling slowly
No, he wouldn’t have known what it meant to her. He knew very little of her. For that matter, she knew very little of him. The basics in this space. She was a sub, somewhat unbehaved, Shameless and unapologetic for it. However, they talked over the evening, sharing stories of past lives, real lives and this crazy world of sex and fantasy that brought them together here. Getting lost in the intelligent conversation- she relaxed a little and let the conversation flow where it may. She didn’t know his story, just that he was working out his Dom space and she suspected he would find her uninteresting and maybe a bit shallow. Something about his smile, his warm eyes though, brought her in. Handsome for a man his age- she felt comfortable… and young. Perhaps it was the way he brushed the hair from her face when it wandered and got stuck in her lip gloss. Perhaps the easy way he used the back of his bent finger to brush the top of her nose. Who knows? She was still somewhat unsure though, was her merely humoring her? A conversational pat on the head and ‘go play, little girl.”
He was listening though. They had things in common, shared some common ideas about life and love and sex. He was paying attention to her movements- when she rested her hand on his, he placed his hand back over hers. He touched her. He watched her rotating her ankles, working out the tightness from a long day. He reached down and offered to rub them. Self conscious, she graciously declined. “No, not after walking all day. But perhaps I can rinse them off, and then that would be lovely she said.”
Door open, would he walk in??
Later
“Amazing,” she said- her body buckling under the pressure. His hands stroked her aching feet and she didn’t at all flinch or pull back, her sensitive soles responding to the manipulation. She moaned, it felt so good. Tension in her lower back released, she arched- moaning a little now, vulgar groans as he used her pressure points watched her slip away. It was a foot rub, not a fetish thing, but she wasn’t going to question his intentions, not now, she was too busy getting lost in the way her body releases tension with each push against her sore feet.
His hand would occasionally sweep up her calf and he whispered how much he misses contact. Touching. The foot rub progressed to the backrub- and it was at this point that she thought maybe things might progress further if she opened the door to it. She pulled her top off, laying face down on his bed, jeans still on. They continued to talk, about touching, about physical connections. About power dynamics. She could feel his strokes getting longer, more deliberate. She could hear his breathing getting a bit rougher. His whispers became more inaudible and she suspected he didn’t want her to hear.
Her mind was starting to wander to her subspace. She knew he was hesitating, but it was just a matter of consent. He lay next to her now, resting on his elbows. She, still in a bra and her jeans, wondering if this would go badly. Wondering if he would soon get up- breaking the gaze and tend to some minutiae, a gentle way of letting her know that it wouldn’t go farther.
She wondered what kind of lover he would be. She reached over and ran her fingers through his hair. She felt him looking through her, and in those warm eyes, she got a little lost.
Finally she kissed him, it was sweet kiss in the beginning, it lingered. It was intimate. They kept kissing for long minutes while she let go of her doubts. He wrapped arms around her, tightly, the embrace, she melted in to him. He cradled her head and rested his hand on the small of her back.
The transition was subtle, almost unnoticacble. His hand stroked her hair and back slowly moving his hands up to her hair. Deeply kissing her all the while until his hands tangled in to it. With that, he wrapped a tight fist of it and pulled her head back, slowly. “Yes baby,” he said, exposing her neck. He kissed her chin, pulling her hair back, tightly, her neck.
Pressure. Control.
She surrendered it.
He removed her bra and moved his mouth over her breast. Taking her nipple into his mouth, suckling, then biting. Slow, but hard. She winced and then moaned while he alternated between the two sensations. Then gave up the suckling and moved away from her nipple to the soft flesh of her breast. He sunk his teeth until she squirmed, building his want. Then he pulled back and took that breast into his hand, then slapped it with the other. Not too hard, but enough to sting, progressively harder on each breast. When that didn’t provide the desired effect, he pulled her hands up over her head and then stroked her face. He noticed her breathing was heavier now, he sucked in her breath while he kissed her. He felt her asking for more. He felt her want to surrender. Stroking her face now, he asked it this was ok, on her face.
She closer her eyes now- turning her cheek, exposing it. “Yesssssss,” she hissed and the questions in her mind slipped away with the tension in her skin.
He was laying over her. Her body covered by his. Her eyes were closed when he made contact. It was not too hard, not too sharp- he was feeling her out- testing her limits. She opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were wide and wild, and darker somehow. He leaned down and held her lips in an embrace as her eyes closed again. His hand still pressed on her cheek where he gently caressed it while he kissed her. She moaned into his mouth- a whimper. He pulled away and then struck her once more, harder. Again, even harder. She winced, and whimpered- a plea. Her eyes opened once more- he cradled her face and whispered, “Are you ok, dear?”
She leaned forward, motioning for him to kiss her again. “Yes,” she moaned into his mouth, “yesyesyes.” He kissed her until she lost her breath. Until he lost his breath. It was desperate and clingy and fueled by need. He wrapped his arms under her body and kept her close, rolling onto his back- pulling her on top of him. Her hands were held behind her back but her legs hung to his side. He connected with her thigh, over her jeans the noise was louder but the impact was low. He moved from under her, a seamless move and he was behind her. His hands still on her wrists, holding her down. Her hair gathered on her back and he grabbed a fistful so her wrists and hair were pulled tightly together. He pulled at her jeans, exposing her bare ass and his hand connected with a sharp slap before the jeans hit the side of the bed.
She had been in this space before. Her subspace- she was familiar with it. She was comfortable there, in this area where she could let go of her stress. Each slap brought her farther and farther from her reality. Pain was still pain, but it was useful. Cathartic and numbing. She craved the numbness. It had been a long time, such a long time. Face down, she felt the disconnect, the lovely mental division where she simply let go of her life and accepted the price it took to get her there. She felt each slap, increasing in strength until the stinging made her squirm and wiggle away from him. He moved down over her body, throwing his leg over her skin and turning her over. He was laying on top of her again, kissing her- caressing her skin with his hand and sliding his cheek over her skin. She felt him pressing his cock against her thigh and he moved down over her breasts. His teeth sunk into her breast. It was sharp- and piercing, and slow. She sucked in her breath and let out a soft long whimper until he released her from his bite. He moved lower and sunk his teeth in again, scooping his arms underneath her. She felt his teeth, and winced, cried out to the space.
But it wasn’t a cry into space, no- it was to him. He was there, right there. She was not alone, he was there with her. Holding her. His teeth sunk into her breast again and she sunk deeper into her brain. Her life slipped out of her periphery and as she started to unwind, she fell deeper into his arms. He growled as his teeth moved away from her breast, he stroked the area and then slapped it. Cries. He caught her scream in his mouth and kissed her. He released her arms just for a moment and instead of her usual behavior she did something else. Usually she would distance herself from the intimacy. She would submit with sex. She would normally have reached for his shirt and his jeans. She would have taken him into her mouth and done… what she does. It displays interest and submission. It shows obedience and desire. However, she knew- what it really does is fill an empty space and gives her attention that never really fills her. Falling to her knees and taking cock into her mouth- while thrilling for the moment, always left her feeling cold and empty- minutes later.
Now, she had the opportunity to create distance from him. She could have displayed all of her sexual prowess and talent and allowed herself to add him to the list of men who would soon forget her name. It would have been easy, and effortless. She could have pushed him away- never letting him into her brain. Never letting him past the first layer. All these thoughts had been running through the back of her mind since the moment he struck her face. When would it happen, when would the girl disappear and the beast take over. The beast in her that wanted nothing more than a sexual fix, hiding away her heart.
Something inside her though, a small cry, as from a child scared in the dark, surfaced. Something between them passed. Something in his touch, his kiss, even his assault. It spoke to that scared child. Something said, trust me. A voice somewhere with him spoke to that little girl without either of them knowing. Trust me, it said, I won’t hurt you. It’s ok dear. It’s ok.
It happened at the same moment. Her decision was made at the exact moment his was. The beast fell back into the distance as he pulled her to his chest. Her usual agenda dissolved into air. Instead, she let that scared child do what scared children do. She reached out for him. Hoping that at the end of her fingertips there would be someone to touch. A safe place to land. A soft spot to rest her head.
She closed her eyes and fought back tears. Tears of surrender. She curled into his chest and took heavy breaths, in and out- slowly…knowing that nothing would ever be the same.
(to be continued…)
ooooH I cant wait for the next part!!! its wonderful!
Oh, that was beautiful, and so so so VERY true…. I’ve been there, and it’s a wonderful place to be. Thank you for sharing. Can’t wait to read the next part.
Thank you Punkin, for sharing this lady’s blog.
Yes, you have been there, and will be again.
And there will always be a safe place for you to land.