Um, Britni… not to be a party pooper, but if the guy was concerned enough about a potential cold sore to ask about it, then he’d probably want to know and get tested. Even though the cold sore you had was undoubtedly from HSV1 (and true, that virus is super-common), it is absolutely possible to transmit HSV1 from mouth to genitals, despite what Anshi says. Again, different virus from HSV2, but it can still manifest genitally. Clearly it wasn’t your fault, or due to anything bad you did (you did think it was just a cut at that point after all), but regardless the ethical and kind thing to do would have been to tell him. I’m sorry, I know it’s a tough conversation to have.

Anshi, sorry about your shitty experience with the doc. For what it’s worth, virtually every sexually active person who’s had more than a handful of partners has some form of HPV (some being more serious than others). Getting an STD doesn’t ever mean that you’re a bad person or should feel guilty.

I found out recently that I’m infected with HPV.The doctor kind of scared me,and told me I should stop having sex to avoid this kind of drama…I cried and almost panicked when I found out that I had it.This happened a few months ago and I still feel «dirty» knowing there’s something wrong with me.I know it probably is no big deal and lots of women have it,but i’m worried all the time.It’s not a nice feeling…

And for those of you who don’t (to your knowledge) have herpes, it’s not the huge deal it’s made out to be. Seriously, in 10 years of having it I haven’t given it to any of my partners. When I get down about having it, I try to remember that it was a blessing in disguise – I could have just as easily caught HIV and herpes is a walk in the park compared to that. (It’s like the common cold of STDs, only unlike colds it recurs.) After getting it I’ve been super consistent with condom use and getting tested at least once a year.
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In fact, I have a confession to make. I get cold sores, but I’d never gotten one until recently. I got my first one ever a little less than a year ago. So, at first, I didn’t know what it was. I was hooking up with this guy, and he asked if it was one. I said no, I thought it was a cut. Because at the time, I did. I went down on him (sans condom). I found out a few days later that it *was* a cold sore. It’s possible for herpes to be passed from lips to genitals, if there is mouth-to-genital contact. I never told him. I didn’t want to freak him out. But part of me has always wondered if there’s any way that I gave him genital herpes.

Or, you could always go this route: http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSN1419876020080214?feedType=RSS&feedName=lifestyleMolt

Anonymous ecards! That way, at least you’re letting them know, you’re just not letting them know who they got it *from.* You can see a slideshow of all the ecards here: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/01/19/health/012009-STD_index.html
Britni TheVadgeWig´s last blog ..Be Our Guest

Hopefully, everything is good on your end and you don’t need to worry about the “what ifs”
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