Adventures in Kink
I’m not a Domme.
Well, scratch that. I don’t know HOW to be a Domme. Maybe I can learn. Maybe I need practice. After the last two “dates” I had, I have nothing but questions.
Two dates in a row I came home thinking “I don’t know if it went well or not.” There’s nothing DOMINANT about that kind of uncertainty. There’s nothing DOMINANT about calling up your friend and saying, “I don’t think he liked me.”
I have spoken to them both since we’ve played. Vague comments about meeting up again, etc. Nothing that makes me think they have any desire to play again, which is fine. In the end, what they want is not the way I like to play. I would however, I would enjoy the practice. So if I got a chance to play again, I’d take it.
I there are some things I do like about being Dominant. I love the sigh. That delicious sigh that the Sweetboy makes when I grab him by his hair. The tremble when I whispered in his ear and explained to him exactly what will please me. The way his lips barely move when he said, “yes, miss.”.
Perhaps it makes me so hot because I know that space. I know how intoxicating that surrender is. Watching the CPA pull agains his restraints at certain times. The way his mouth reached out and sucked on whatever I put across his lips. His hunger made me ache.
Perhaps if I play again I will take what I’ve learned and it will be mind blowing for both parties. I doubt I will get to play with either of those two again. Which really does irk me a little. I told them from the beginning that this isn’t my comfort zone. I told them that this level of dominance was new for me. Interesting also that both guys did not originally present themselves as subs. They come across as non-fetish people, but in the conversation they are digging to find out if you can scratch that itch and then it comes out.Maybe I should direct them to Fetlife so they can just be kinky out in the open?
All this has led me to thinking that for my own self confidence, I need to find some dirty sex where nobody gets tied up. I think I’m kinked out for a little while. Or at least until the next sub, or a REALLY good Dom comes along for me.
Sure sounds like you’re a Domme. I think you just need to work at it. Like any skill, few of us are naturally good without lots practice. If these guys don’t want to play anymore because you’re new at this, then you’re probably better off. I recommend cruising your local BDSM club. You will meet tons of people who will be happy to help you practice!
Also keep in mind that everyone is different. If you’re playing with someone new, you’re not going to know exactly how to get them off right away. Stuff like that takes time and many guys are not very forthcoming with their submissive desires which adds to the difficulty.
Keep at it. It’s work, but it’s worth it.
–Lucius
I have a partner who is totally submissive which is a new experience for me, and when you find a sole mate which you can do what ever to each other but special to her and in the morning look at each other a smile, where other partner in the past would of wanted a pair of Jimmy choo shoes are Diamonds or certain partner would of probably phone the Police.
This quote by Miria hunter I think really describes it well.
If you are meant to be in the lifestyle, you will find that, where you were once only walked through life, you will be gliding on air. Parts of you that never were complete will then become whole. In relinquishing control, I have found freedom: freedom to find and be the person I am inside.