domination is the name of the game
He likes it to hurt. Squeezing his balls, tugging on his piercings, biting, scratching, spanking. Pain and humiliation.
“Humiliation?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Most of the women I’ve met who were willing to do those things are the kind that were in to humiliating guys.”
(Man haters? I think to myself.)
Perhaps it’s just the phrasing. The term humiliation- to me, is negative. It’s right up there with mortification. Embarassement. Shame. D/s play, I personally would never consider to be humiliating. However upon some research, it’s a term widely used to identify the scenarios in D/s play. Is it humiliating when you like it, when you want it- and it makes your pussy wet or your cock hard?
I want to be held down, fucked hard, have my hair pulled and called a slut and a whore among other things that are less vanilla. I suspect if you know this about me, and we are in those roles, then you know me, and have a certain amount of respect for me. There is a level of surrender and freedom in it for me, and I don’t feel humiliated. If there’s not that agreement, well, then you’re raping me- and they yes, goal accomplished.
Again, perhaps it’s verbage, and humiliation is not a term I’m comfortable with.
The people I interact with, my intention is never to humiliate and if I felt for a moment that it was a negative, I would stop. What gets me off, is what gets you off. My last post, Evil Playground, was inspired by a chat between me and him, and what was exciting to me is knowing how hot it makes him to surrender to those wants and needs. Similar to my own. Perhaps there are those who really do get off on that feeling of discomfort and embarassment. That’s not my intention. I know very little really, about the true dynamics of D/s play. I think perhaps it is different in every situation. Just because a man, or woman wants to explore the dynamic of being, or just be submissive does not make them weak. Not at all. I still hold the upmost respect for these people. I adore him. And ES. As much as I know Sean and M adore me. No mortification. No embarassment. No shame.
Maybe that’s the name of the game, but there’s no humiliation here.
Lets play….
I totally get what you are saying…there is a line between “fuck me, spank me & call me a whore, it gets me wet” and “please master, completely humiliate me if that’s what you want, I am here to serve you”. I’ve had the opportunity to be the s in the D/s relationship, and I just couldn’t go to that complete & total sub level.
Well said. Maybe it’s just that my perception of some wording is different from other people’s perceptions, but I make a bit of a confused face when hearing the word ‘humiliation’ in regards to consensual erotic play.
Also, while I love seeing pics of spanking play, there is a point where the markings just look like abuse to me. I trust that it’s not, but I cringe a bit anyway.