Sex misspelled
I cannot get enough of this man…. This fucking prick bastard liar. This beautiful, delicious, fucking prick, bastard liar.
I am feeling restless again. This happens when I start to ‘like’ someone for more than what they were intended to be. I always sort of bail out when I start to ‘feel’ things- it’s just easier that way, and really what kind of a chick am I that I even consider any kind of emotion for someone I have been talking to for just a few months.
A writer I don’t know wrote a book I didn’t read called, “Love aint nothin but sex misspelled.” Funny how true that can be when other things are a factor. I have had sex with men whom I did not care a thing about 24 hours later. I have also had NO sex with men than mattered a whole lot. Either way- I have no time to feel things for anyone. I prefer to be twisted and broken. When someone comes along and unbreaks me, I just get confused and the reality of my life slaps me and I start to resent it.
I didn’t realize that I had any feelings until I found out that he’s really just a whore in nice guy clothes. I don’t know why I’m surprised really. Nobody could be that good at phone and cybersex without practice. He’s also someone who leaves his cell phone around so other people can check his voice mails. So yeah- what I really wanted was a phone call from what I thought was Sean, only to have it be some cunty bitch asking, “Who the FUCK is this??” Lovely. So I promptly hung up the phone and did not answer a call from that number for most of the day.
My life needs no drama. I don’t WANT drama. It pisses me off. He caught me online, and after getting the skinny on who Miss Cunty Bitch is, I am just annoyed that she is spoiling my fun. I realize that I was a little jealous of her. Can you see the red flag on the field?? I prefer to not care, I prefer to be indifferent and not caring. It’s safer that way.
But then he calls me tonight. All sweet talking and getting me hot. I’m weak for it. He’s out of town, visiting family and he calls me from his room. I did it because I was already trying out my new toy so I was already wet and ready. Fuck, who am I kidding. I can’t help it. I’m drawn to the drug and I just want more of it.
“I know I was not totally forthcoming, but I still want you to fuck that tight pussy for me tonight. I still want to hear you cumming for me.” I pushed my pink vibe into my cunt, grabbing onto the swirled pattern and twisting it in and out of me, feeling the vibrations of it and thrusting towards it. I listened to his dirty words tossing and turning my emotions. “Come on babygirl. Fuck this cock. Fuck it for daddy. Take it all in and fuck me the way you need it. I know you need it baby. I know you need it so bad, get rid of all that anger and just fuck me till it hurts.”
He gets into my head and knows exactly what will get me going. Of course he does. He’s been reading my blog for 6 fucking months, of course he knows just what is going to get me going. I try to remember this in my sane moments, but this is not one of them. This is the moment that I am fucking him and fucking my anger, and fucking my emotions and my frustrations. Just fucking. fucking.
“Let me pound into that tight pussy of yours and make you beg like a filthy slut. I want you to cum all over my cock and then lick it clean for me. That’s right baby. Ohh fuck. Fuck this cock- tell me you love this cock. You better fucking cum baby. Cum for me right now…. do it right now baby.”
And as his voice moved from a throaty whisper to a louder demand my blood started to boil and the burn inside my cunt ripped through me. It was as if he felt it, as if he was pressing right on my gspot, biting at it. He demanded it from me and I would not deny him now. I came hard, once, twice… finally a third time getting him off while rubbing my clit and milking the last of my sex from me. Forcing him to hold out and not cum while I did. Wait for me, let me cum first. Drowning his cock in my cum. Getting on my knees and begging him to fuck my slutty mouth and shoot his cum inside. Cum for me……right now. Now, in my mouth. Right fucking now… and then cumming again as he groaned and trembled.
I didn’t ask who he had been with all night, I suspect it was not his buddies like he claimed. I don’t want to care. As long as I get what I need for now, I will do my best to disconnect any emotion I have. Not talk to him so often, perhaps not talk about normal things. Stop being so fucking smitten with him and remind myself that he is just the voice I have given to my dildo.
I have to- because I can’t risk my sanity for a man-whore with a sexy voice who seems to connect with me in a way I can’t explain- even if I want to.
It’s too bad
cause it’s could have been soo good.
well if you love the sex why dont you just use him as a …well..idunno…sextoy?
I have always been turned on by a sexy voice. Somebody needs to invent a dildo with prerecorded audio tracks for solo sessions …