It had been a long time. So long since I so much as touched myself. The frustration due to a lack of a steady man in my bed seemed to lessen with time. That, and a torn heart proved to calcify the veins that pump my blood and silence the beast.

For a little while.

And then Cy (”Shy”) came along. She was beautiful, but wounded. She reminds me of a character from a movie. “The most charming wounded person I’ve ever met.” Her gentle and suggestive words sent a chill down my spine. I want to kiss her sores. Soothe her hurts and take cradle her in my arms. Stroke her hair, taste her tears and make her mine.

My want to have her made me ache. The beast was awoken again and her need was crawling it’s way through my blood. I wanted her, sitting in her chair, legs open and thrown over the arms. Her pale skin contrasting against the black material, showing every inch of damp skin, every tremble. I wanted to taste her sweet sex. I wanted to watch her writhe for me, let her body dance on my fingers and under the lash of my tongue. My words and fantasy were sending her over the edge. I could feel her, touch her, control her. She came hard, her usually playful voice- now demanding and urgent, raw moans into my ear. I coaxed her, whispering to her, yes Cy, be my good girl. Let me have it. And she did. Deliciously, she came.

Leaving me twitching for release.

Reaching for my Rabbit, I pushed it inside my already wet cunt. Letting the vibrations touch me and tingle down to my toes. I spread my legs and thought of her beautiful body. Of tying her hands to the top of my headboard, leaving her on her knees where I can move beneath her and taste the remants of her sex. Straddling my tongue and grinding into my lips. The shaft of the rabbit grazed over my G-spot, again and again in delicious rhythm. My clit buzzed under the gentle ears and I moaned softly, whispered her names and tried to imagine her pretty lips on me. Her mouth, her tongue- sliding over my wet sex.

I struggled, but I could not make it work. She will not ever have me this way. I could sense it. As a hetero girl, I feel very ‘top’ with Cy. Apparently with women, I do not ‘bottom.’ - at least not yet. I was on the edge and wanting to release so badly that it hurt. My legs spread, my breathing shallow, I pushed and stroked inside me with the vibe, searching for my release in the curves of her body. Her sultry laugh, her intoxicating smile. I reached for my orgasm in the small of her back, but all I could feel was the shaft pushing into me. Instinctively I was pushing the cock into me- fucking it and having my way.

I pulled it out and threw it to the drawer and pulled out my dildo. Straddling it, I sunk down on it, unlubed and taking it hard into my cunt, sinking down and feeling my self stretched and filled. I came almost instantly, drowning in the fuck. Her beautiful flesh had vanished and I was lost in him. Fucking and calling his name, being his whore. His submissive little slut. It is who I am.

My desires, my cravings, and my curiosity will not change that.