I find lately my days are filled with so much wanting. It leaves me feeling wanting more as I crawl into bed, naked- feeling the cool sheets on my skin. My fingers trail over my skin, focusing on how my fingertips, not the skin they touch. As if to separate my skin from my body and pretend I am touching someone else. Then focus on my skin, not my fingertips, as if someone else is touching me. Pinching my nipples, feeling them harden as my chest instinctively tightens.

My pussy begins to swell, slowly, as the pinch gets harder and my nail digs in. I hold my breath, wondering how much I can take. Can I bleed?

My other hand digs my short, sharp nails, the claws, into the flesh of my other breast, as if to tear through the skin and expose my barely beating heart. Maybe I don’t bleed because I don’t feel human. I feel cold and closed off from true emotion. What surges through my veins? Violent ice, anger and liquid sex. It fuels me, and electrifies my skin. My brain racing through a raging ocean of fuck as my skin tries to connect with my heart, feeling more than just sex. But that is all there is.

My fingers, claws out, push over my soft belly down to the smooth freshly shaved skin. The raw flesh against my panties has kept me wet all day. The kitten begs to be pet. The claws drag over the smooth soft mons- the nerves below the skin, pushing at the surface. I crave to push the claws into my aching cunt. To tear at the softest flesh and discover if it feels as good as my mind tells me it does. The rush of pain soothes me, as I slap my exposed cunt, feeling the sting and then rush of blood. I reach for my dildo, pushing it deep inside me. Feeling it stretch me wide and deep. Pushing it as far and as deep as it will go and holding it inside me. I slap my cunt again, and then grind against the cock inside me. My fingers dig at my pussy, daring myself to push the claws into my flesh. Wanting to break the skin. Wanting to feel something, more.

The rage under my skin is burning me. Need consumes me as I go for the fuck. I push dildo in farther, moving it and grinding against it. The evil girl inside me tells me to do it. Bleed. Feel the rush of pain I crave. My fingers rubbing furiously at my clit while I pound my cunt harder. I cum, small waves of pleasure- but not the release. Not the fuck that I crave. Do it. I keep fucking, rubbing, harder- my clit becoming raw. I curse at my bodies betrayal. At my need for such deviant behavior. Who have I become??

It didn’t matter. I knew what I needed, what I craved. I knew that what the beast wants, she will have. The claws come out. My mind intent and focused on a mere pinpoint, the fuck. My body teeters on a thin line of sexual agony and complete release. The claws turn towards my clit as I push the dildo into my cunt harder and faster, impaling me. The claws dig, slightly to both sides of my swollen clit. As the claws sink in, I feel the sharp sting and I am released. My body thrashes. A deep and tormented cry escapes my mouth. Evil heat consumes me, burning the ice in my veins and allowing hot blood to reenter my body. Sweat drips sex from every pore and I feel alive again. The fuck is complete.

I have surrendered to it. It owns me now.