slave to love

Ipo Finger Vibe from Babeland

Published at: 06:01 am - Thursday January 19 2012

I’m doing reviews again. I took a bit of a break, but I’m ready to get going again.

My first review is for Babeland. I’m a big fan of Babeland. They offer good quality toys at a reasonable price. Not cheap toys, but I also understand the need for those too. I love their website. It’s so bright and inviting you’d almost expect to see that they are selling fruit or candy. Check it out.

The toy I requested for review was the Ipo finger vibe. Like it’s name suggests one of the fingervibes, and it’s pink. In usually skeptical bout these, but I thought I’d give this one a shot. It’s in the category of “first timer” toys. I really need to pay attention to those descriptions a little better.

The good: its silicon safe material. WIN. Theres no problem holding this small vibe in your hand, like with traditional bullets, this one goes right on your finger. Convenience is a plus. This is a good idea for your partner to have on his finger while penetrating you with something else. Or better yet, it would be nice to wear on your finger and use on a guy. Against the perineum, you get the jist.

The bad: Well, the ring part that slips on your finger is a tad small. I don’t have fat fingers, but they aren’t slender either. If I was someone with big fingers, this would be somewhat uncomfortable. It was hard to turn on. Not complicated, but- well, the on and off switch are hidden within the logo. A + and – sign. If you know they are there- it’s fine, but if you, like me- didn’t read the directions… Well, yeah. Let’s just say I went thru changing the batteries twice before Daddy found the button.

The nitty gritty: This has vibrations like a luxury vibe. It has a nice hummmmmm to it. Nice but not strong. Not strong enough to get me off on it’s own. It did however, FEEL really good. You know, when it feels really good and gives you those warm, wet, “give me more” feelings? However, there just wasn’t anymore to give. I think it would be just the ‘push me over the edge’ if I was getting fucked. It’s small enough and obviously easy to hold that it wouldn’t get in the way if I was on my back, or be uncomfortable or obtrusive if I was on all fours or laying on my stomach. It used a AAA battery, so the strength is only going to BE so strong, but it doesn’t have wires, and it isn’t going to numb or vibe out of your fingers while holding it, like some bullets can.

I liked it, and I’m sure I will use it in conjunction with a partner or a dildo when I’m on my own. Probably not as good as the Lelo Siri, but definitely better than a silver bullet. For a first timer vibe, I was pretty impressed.

Check out the Ipo Finger Vibe as well as the other vibrators in this line, as well as 1000′s of other vibes on Babeland‘s website.

Posted in: Babeland, Sex Toy Reviews by badbadgirlx No Comments

Musings of a live-in slave #19

Published at: 12:01 pm - Saturday January 14 2012

Burping when I go in for a kiss will bring about the response “you suck”

please take note.

Posted in: relationships by badbadgirlx 1 Comment

Musings of a live-in slave #18

Published at: 01:01 pm - Saturday January 07 2012

Daddy is gone for the afternoon- I can get some work done. I have work, like second job work, to do. I also have housework to do. Todays task is cleaning my room and the office and of course, sweeping and mopping the floors.

It’s not that I CAN’T get work done when he’s here. Clearly I can, but I lose focus. Why, you ask?

Well look, I’m 40. He’s 28.

You see where I’m going with this?
My sex drive is, as always, through the roof. And I’ve got this hot 28 year old, doing things like fixing things, building things, spending time with my kids, and over all being totally awesome. And did I mention he’s 28?? Rawr.

Yeah, so with him gone- I can get some work done, and not distract myself trying to kiss, cuddle, attack, rape him all day. He tells me, “I’m not a sex machine, you know.”

blinks….. wait…. you’re NOT?

What’s the point of being a cougar if I can’t attack him like a wounded zebra??

Posted in: D/s, relationships, sex by badbadgirlx 2 Comments

Musings of a live-in slave #17

Published at: 01:01 pm - Saturday January 07 2012

Last night before Daddy came to bed I popped in one of my favorite movies. Love Actually. I wasn’t expecting to watch the whole thing, but we stayed up until the end and cuddled throughout the movie. Kissing at all the super romantic parts and all that yucky love stuff. (!!!)

This morning/afternoon we both woke up (hours apart) in a great mood. We talked, we wrestled around, we kissed a lot. I’m not sure if it was Hugh Grant dancing around or the “To me, you are perfect” scene- but Romantic Movies before bed might just be the key. Tonight, The LakeHouse.

Posted in: D/s, relationships by badbadgirlx No Comments

Musings of a live-in slave #16

Published at: 12:01 am - Friday January 06 2012

This month I am revisiting my Needs and Wants list. It’s a New Year and so much of my life has changed in a year. My needs are still pretty much the same, but I admit, I have more wants.

I used to feel that my wants needed justification. I felt that my wants should be things to support my needs. I want a new car, because I NEED to have transportation to get back and forth to work. Things like that. So much of my wants were geared toward building a new life for myself. Getting away from a marriage that was sucking the life out a me. Getting out of an apartment that I never wanted to go home to. Doing things and going places that would help me escape from the time I had to sleep in the bed I made for myself.

Now everything is new. I have a new home, a new relationship, new friends and a new life that I don’t want to escape even on it’s worst days. I have a new foundation, a new beginning. Now it’s time to add some furniture and decor. Now it’s time to hang some curtains.

I have asked before, will my wants eventually just become the wants of my Master? I have been told by some, yes. That as a slave I should have no want for anything. That I should only desire things that will enhance or improve my service. In some ways, I believe that to be true. Sort of. What makes me happy, will make me a better slave. A few frills, like having my nails done, some social time with my friends, and a “date night” every once in a while is not going to make or break my happiness, but it sure will but a smile on my face.

I think that’s worth something.

Posted in: consensual slavery, D/s, relationships by badbadgirlx No Comments D/s

The return of Daddy

Published at: 09:01 am - Thursday January 05 2012

Daddy is back. After a necessary break, Daddy has allowed me to play again. It was a tough time without him, after about a month, I realized that life without Daddy sucked. That warm playful space was missing and left a hole in my heart. However, I committed to 90 days and was determined to see it through.

As negotiated, I did earn 7 points for misbehavior during that time. 6 were for slipping and calling him ‘Daddy’ and once was for pouting and arguing in littles fashion. My punishment for it came about 75 days in and was in the form of whip strokes, which will not soon be forgotten.

90 days have come and gone, and while I have resorted mostly to calling him Daddy, and one pretty hot night in bed, there has not been much littles behavior from me. I guess I am still somewhat afraid to let that out. A lot changed in those 90 days, most notably us moving in together and me learning the responsibilities of a live-in slave.

Today was the last day of my 7 day break from work. I am restless to get back to work and was feeling kind of bored. Daddy has been busy and I was feeling greedy for his attention. After a nice lunch out, he went back to working on the computer and I was left with idle hands.

I went into the bathroom and was fussing with my hair. I oddly decided on two pony tails, because I was having a nice big curly hair day. I still find it kind of funny to see my 40 year old face with pony tails, but for some reason, today it was working for me. I looked at myself in the mirror and just sort of let myself slip.

I made my way to the office where Daddy was working, and he smiled at me. He told me I looked cute. He called me baby girl. Mmmmmmm. He was still busy, “just a little while longer, baby.” So I shuffled off to my room with a bit of a pout and decided to play on my new iPad. I did some games, worked on a puzzle and then landed on the Crayola interactive coloring pages. I’m not really one to color very often, but this was kind of fun because the characters in the picture moved so it made coloring a challenge.

When I was done, I showed my picture to Daddy. He pointed out that I didn’t color the background, and I should finish it and show Daddy when I’m all done. He kissed me and patted my bottom as I left the room and I shuffled back to finish the picture for him. When I was all done, I went running to the office to show him my finished work to which he said it was very pretty, and that I was a very good girl. I felt proud, cute, and downright giddy that I had pleased him.

The rest of the night was spent talking and playing with Daddy. It was nothing more than me in that comfortable headspace. Horsing around and teasing Daddy. Letting him pull on my pony tails and nibbling on my cheeks. He even let me gnaw on his arms a little, playfully biting him back and just having fun. It was a wonderfully fun headspace and I was able to completely sink into it. My voice changes, my walk changes, everything about me feels different when I’m in that space. It’s my favorite game, and Daddy knows this.

We crawled into bed and watched a movie, and he let me lay my head on his lap while he stroked my hair and let me kiss and suck on his fingers a little. He would kiss me everytime I asked, and gave me all the hugs and attention that I was craving. His smile was genuine and I could tell that he was also happy to let me indulge. He was my sanctuary. My safe place to just get go and it was heavenly.

Crawling into bed now, I feel completely relaxed. Like I had a scene that didn’t involve a single strike. I feel subspacey, without the drop. Completely enamored with Daddy and emotionally satisfied.

Goodnight Daddy, thank you for a wonderful day together.

Posted in: Erotica by badbadgirlx 1 Comment

It’s not personal

Published at: 01:01 pm - Wednesday January 04 2012

I’ve been on social media sites for a long time now. I don’t do too many, Facebook, twitter, fetlife- that’s my speed. I’ve tried a few others, but I’m so far IN to the others, it’s hard to start again. I don’t really friend collect, but I will add people I know personally, or two or three times removed. I like people who post funny things, or write things I’m interested in, etc. Its a good way to keep up with my non-local friends and I have many friends on line that I talk to more than I speak to my siblings. I love social networking, but even calling it THAT lessens what it is in my life. It’s how I talk to my friends. I have “hung out” with my friends online on Saturday nights, through TV shows, and New Years Eve. My online friends are my FRIENDS. Plain and simple. I love and care for them as I do the people I see every day, sometimes, oftentimes more.

However, there is always this thing out there. This lurking little slap in the face that sits and waits for us all. The “unfriend” also referred to as the “unfollow” or the ever drastic “block”. I have not blocked many people, but I have unfriended a few people, mostly because they update SO much that it clogs my feed or because they post pictures that just gross me out. I have also been unfriended, often on facebook because people are offended at my casual talk of anal sex and vibrators. And I’ve been blocked on Fetlife, but that’s more often by people I have never even met.

I was very recently unfriended by someone I care about- and it really bothered me. I didn’t really DO anything other than communicate to Daddy that this person said something I felt was a bit out of line to say to someone elses girl. It was months ago and Daddy just brought it up. Not in a harsh or threatening way, but just in a way that said, Hey this isn’t cool. I was not expecting a message with any kind of extreme apology. I was really not expecting anything. No real damage was done. At best simple apology would have been fine, “Hey sorry I made you feel weird” or at worst, nothing at all. I am over it. I was doing what I am supposed to do, communicate with the Master I serve when something like that happens. Everyone in this lifestyle knows that, this person surely knows it.

So again, not much was required- just an acknowledgement if anything at all, and with luck it doesn’t happen again. What I got in return was a curt email telling me I was being unfriended, that there was no need for a hissy fit and it’s not personal.

No? Not personal? Well it was personal to me. My friends are important to me and this person is important to me. Now, they don’t even want to KNOW me anymore? How is that not personal? And when do I ever have hissy fits? Well, last night I sure did.

In school when you decide to not be friends with someone anymore, it a bit harder- you have to make a point to not talk to someone that you usually talk to and it’s noticable. You have to go out of your way to avoid eye contact or you have to look them dead in the eye and say, “I don’t want to know you anymore.” Yeah, that sucks hard. On line, we can quietly and often without thought cut people from our lives with the click of a button or a three sentence email. Even people we once very much cared for and loved. I’m mad at you- bam- unfriend, you are now on my list of people I don’t want to think about ever again.

Think about how harsh that is. People think, oh- it’s just facebook, it’s just fetlife or twitter. But is it? People meet online, people connect and build lifelong friendships online. People conduct important business online. People fall in love online. So telling me ‘online’ that it’s nothing personal that I don’t want to know or hear about you or your life ever again is the same as looking me in the eye and saying “I don’t want to know you anymore.” The impact is the same. The hurt feelings are the same.

“It’s not personal. What does that mean? All it means is it’s not personal to you, but it’s personal to me. Whatever anything is, it ought to begin by being personal” -You’ve Got Mail

Posted in: relationships by badbadgirlx No Comments random

ramblings about sex

Published at: 11:01 pm - Tuesday January 03 2012

I want sex. I would say I NEED sex, but I’m pretty careful now about making claims to what are NEEDS and what are wants. So no, I don’t NEED it. I’m not going to die, it just feels like it.

Last night I crawled in bed next to Daddy and laid my head on his chest and threw my leg over his. I was stroking his arm and we spoke quietly about events of the day. I knew he had a headache, he had mentioned it before. However I asked him for sex anyway. He said he had a bad headache and wasn’t really in the mood. I suggested I get on top, but he doesn’t really like that position very much. Who knows, maybe it’s too passive for some Dominants.

I felt kind of bad asking, and then sort of whining about his refusal. By this point I was practically humping his leg. Rubbing my cunt against him in attempts to get his attention. In retrospect I’m not sure why I thought this was going to be effective, I guess I know better now. I did feel kind of like a creepy jerk, asking for sex when he said he had a headache. And yet, there I was- asking anyway.

He told me that after he falls asleep I could do whatever I wanted to him. Sounds ok, except as soon as he was awake, he might tell me to stop again. Maybe in the morning, he said. And yes, I have in the past had sex with him and he’s mostly slept thru it. While that doesn’t say much for MY skills in bed, I can tell you that there’s been a time or two that it’s come in handy.

Which is funny, because Daddy is NOT a morning person. I’ve tried molesting him in the early morning before to which I was harshly rejected. Daddy sleeps like a rock, and sometimes he can be kinda harsh when he turns me down. He never remembers it and doesn’t have any good explanation for why he would argue with me over sex while he is still sleeping- but more often than I care to admit, he does.

This morning, I got up for work and considered trying to molest him- perhaps get a little morning sex before I start the day. But then I simply decided I didn’t have the time nor the heart to get shot down. So I shuffled off to work. And then later in the day started my period.

REALLY?

And sure I can have sex on my period, but all of me is just so uncomfortable- it’s just not going to be quite as satisfying. Well, you can’t have it all right?

Oh the super secret sex lives of slaves. hot stuff huh??

Posted in: Erotica, relationships, sex by badbadgirlx No Comments random, sex

Musings of a live-in slave #15

Published at: 07:01 pm - Monday January 02 2012

I read somewhere that if you ask any slave what they spend most of their time doing, they will say “Waiting.”

That is soooo very true.

I am really not a patient person. When I have somewhere to be or something to go, and Sir wants to discuss something… in great detail. I find it hard to listen without my eyes sort of glancing the direction to which I’m going. Or sometimes I sort of lean and take small steps away. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, or listen. Sometimes I just have things to do or places to be. Dishes are waiting, I have a list of chores, I’m about to burn the toast. I got stuff to do and I don’t have time to be a sounding board on a topic that may or may not interest me if I didn’t have stuff to do. But, I do.

Or at least I should.

Occasionally I will break his vocal stride and say, “I just gotta run in and …turn off the TV, beat the kids…. etc.” and then I will handle as quickly as humanly possible whatever is going to burn or burn the house down. Then I will return and have a talk. I know a slave who’s job in her service is to converse with her Dominant, about whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He can wake her up at 2AM and say, “I just saw this crazy thing on TV, what do you think about crazy seahorses trying to breed with carp?” And in her service she is not only to wake up but to actually ENGAGE in this conversation. She’s patient. Far more patient than me. I might try to wake up, but really if sex isn’t involved, I can’t guarantee anything. And not even then really.

This is when I have to be mindful. I have to be where I am, and do what I’m supposed to do. He is asking me to listen, converse, engage. Sometimes even advocate for the devil and give him an opposing viewpoint. So I need to take a moment and forget the laundry in the dryer and the list of things to do, and just be present. Be where my feet are. I have talked about this before, but it bears repeating.

On the flip side there are times when I am waiting on Sir. Waiting for him to finish his cigarette, finish his phone call, stop chatting, updating Facebook, or whatever he’s doing. Sometimes this is worse. Again, I may be ready to go to bed, ready to go out, ready for dinner, ready to play…. and I’m waiting for him to finish what he’s doing first.

I joke that I may never eat a hot meal again. But it’s a possibility.

And again, I need to be patient. It’s hard for me not to get frustrated- because it’s in my nature to keep moving. Food is hot, lets go. I’m in bed under the covers, come to bed before I fall asleep. I’m dressed and ready, lets go before we are late. on and on and on. I feel like I’m always in a rush, while he’s hardly ever in a hurry. Again, I try to be mindful. Remember that if the food is cold, well, it can be reheated, the world isn’t going to end if we’re late, and chances are, if I fall asleep I will wake up when he comes to bed.

Mindful. You don’t call the shots anymore, girl. Chill out. It’s ok. Really, it is.

Posted in: consensual slavery, D/s, relationships, service by badbadgirlx No Comments

still me…. just me.

Published at: 10:01 am - Monday January 02 2012

2012. And I’m sitting here wondering what to do with this blog. I love writing here, but I keep feeling like nobody really gives a shit about the new life I have. I’m not BBG anymore, I mean. I’m not that girl who fucks random cock and is constantly looking for a fix.

Sure I’m constantly looking to get laid, but just from one. (maybe two if I could be so lucky, but yeah- anyway.)

So hopefully soon you’ll see a new look, but for now there’s a new name. I’m not changing the URL, you all know where to find me, and most of you link to me, click me from twitter or have me in your RSS feed, so it’s all good right? We can move on?

I’ve been writing this blog for 5 years I guess, and well I don’t need to explain to you the changes. If you’ve read my blog or follow me on twitter or are friends with me on Fetlife, then you know who I am and “how I do.”

I’m gonna talk here, about me. My M/s life, my activity in the BDSM community and all of it. Sorry if you’re just here for the hot sex talk- it’s not happening all the time any more. Sadly.

Enjoy the archives for the hot sex, and you know, there will still BE hot sex, but like me, you gotta wait for it.

I hope you stay for the ride.

Posted in: Erotica by badbadgirlx 1 Comment